monday 19/9

Hi beauties!

I am so so sick right now, fever, soar throat, headache and bad coughs. But I needed to talk to you guys today. I was planning a more creative post today, but school was very much and I’ve been pretty busy since I got home, so I just thought I’d update a little bit before I go to bed.

School was so boring today, like for real. Did nothing the first class, nothing the second class and read on the last one. It kinda sucked. Like I know it probably was chill doing nothing, but I could be doing nothing at home. If I’m going to school I want to make the most of it, god damn it lol.

But yes, I only had science and english today, except for before lunch where we have this thing on mondays where we work on whatever we need to work on to keep up with the subject. So yes. I also really want to work out, but I’ve been so sick and busy. I’m sad about it. It doesn’t feel right not working out, and I keep stressing myself about it and how lazy I am for not working out. Ugh, I really need to work on not doing that to myself.

I have been planning this week very much, and if everything goes as planned I will be uploading new posts everyday this week, yaay.

I’m totally not feeling like going to school tomorrow having math for three hours, but what to do I guess. Even though I’m not really complaining since I really like math. And I have to do it if I ever feel like going to university when I’m done with school.

Kinda sick how time keeps flying by, isn’t it? Like 2016 has passed soo fast. It’s my birthday in two weeks and everything. I feel so little and so big at the same time. 17. Like it’s so little if you think about it, my life has literally just started, but at the same time it feels like it was yesterday I started high school and became a teen at 13 and everything. I have two more years of school before I’m free to do whatever I want, it’s kinda crazy. Gosh, can I just stop the time for a moment to catch my breath. Before I know it my life will be over. I’m glad my life just begun. I can’t think about it almost being october already. It feels like I just had a summer break. Life is crazy, huh.

Yeah, enough with this rambling already, I really need to sleep. If you’ve made it this far, have a good night and don’t let the bed bugs bite. See you tomorrow.

Love, Ellie

sunday 18/9

Hi my beauties!

I’m so so sorry for being inactive lately, but life has literally been piling up in front of me and it has been really hard keeping up. School has been so overwhelming and I’ve been sick for weeks now and everything is just blocking my vision a little right now. I have barely had time for the gym lately, and it hurts my soul very bad. I just want to work out but I haven’t been able too, both because I’m sick but it wouldn’t have mattered if I wasn’t because I wouldn’t have had the time anyways.

But here I am, this sunday night, listening to some chill tropical house music and painting my nails.

I’d love to have a lot to talk about and just sit here rambling about something insignificant, but I literally have nothing to talk about. I just had to keep up with you guys. I can’t let you all down like that you know. I’m literally sitting here right now and thinking about what I’m going to wear at school tomorrow. I was thinking about wearing my workout clothes all day and go to the gym right after school, but that won’t matter if I can’t gym tomorrow. Which I won’t if I still have pain in my throat.

When I started school this year I was going on and on about how great it would be just fixing the school from the beginning instead of piling it up like I always do, but look at me now. I just want to smack myself in the face for not listening to myself. I know that I really can’t help it because of my issues and stuff, but I don’t want that to be an excuse. And instead of realizing that it actually is a very good reason for not being able to keep up, I talk down on myself and tell myself that I’m stupid for not being able to do something so easy like doing one assignment in class when I’m supposed to.

Let it go Ellie, you’re struggling and it’s okay not to be okay. Keep that in mind folks. It’s okay to fail, it’s okay to struggle and it’s okay not to be okay. It’s okay feeling down and not be sure of anything. It’s just human, and that’s what we all are. I could tell you all how nobody’s perfect and everyone has imperfections, but I’d rather see it as nobody has imperfections, because every little thing on your skin is beautiful and makes you who you are, and therefore you all are perfect. Imperfection and flaws are something society has come up with for making everyone be like everybody else. You are you and you are perfect.

Love you all so much, Ellie

(nice little ramble for you guys)

tuesday 6/9 – mental health

Hiiii beauties!

I’m the worst blogger eveeeerr I know, but I have been sick for the past week but couldn’t skip school so the only thing I did when I got home from school last week was to like sleep. But yes, I’m back now. I haven’t done a workout progress update this week because I’m still sick, even though I had a little session at the gym today, so there’ll be almost no gym this week, sadly.

But hi, how’s life?

School is going kinda great, even though there are some problems with friends and stuff, you know the usual after summer break. It’s been a rough start of school and everything but I’m handling it, and I’m trying my best so I’ll try to figure out the best for myself.

I’ve been totally uncreative for the last couple of weeks, I’ve had no inspiration to blog at all. I think I need to have some brainstorming days now.

I’m gonna be honest and say that even though school is going well, I just want to cry when I think about it. I think that most people suffering from mental health issues will understand, but I have a hard time to be in school for a long period of time. And my thursdays are from 8.20 to 4.10 and it’s so hard for me, but I can’t fit my schedule to my needs because I only have really important classes on thursday, so it’s been quite a hard time for me. Last thursday when I got home from school I sat down in the living room and argued with my mom about shoes I think, it was totally pointless, and my mom understood something was up and asked me what it was. I told her I didn’t know and then I just started crying, out of nowhere. It’s just so hard because somewhere in my mind I thought I was getting better, but I know I’m not. But my dad was totally sweet because he called when I was sitting with my mom, when I was done crying, and I picked up and he just like casually asked how my day was, and then out of nowhere he was like “are you sad” and it was so cute because I didn’t cry or anything, but I just can’t lie to him, he just knows when something’s up.

Yeah, I don’t know what this little rant was about or anything, but I just wanted to write about it or something. I don’t know, but I will have some brainstorming sessions this week and I’ll see how it goes.

Love you, Ellie

workout – progress week 5

Hi babes!

I’m back after a week without any updating. I was going to post things, but I was so busy with school and since it was the first week of real school and real classes it was a bit to like figure out and stuff. But today I’m back with another weekly progress.

(again, I have no idea why the pictures turn out like that, it’s weird)

But yes, this is me today. Progress progress progress. I know that I say this is the fifth week, but it’s really not because I’ve been working out all summer, but I will go after the first pictures I uploaded.

This weekend has been a real downer, because I didn’t workout and I ate a lot of candy, shame on me. But that happens sometimes and it’s totally okay. The routine hasn’t changed and is still the same, start with a 20 minute run/walk, 30×5 reversed situps, 30 core/torso rotations on each side, 130kg in leg presses and I do 100 of them, 50 squats with 50 or 70 kg in weight, depending on the day. Since I work my arms in machines, I’m not really sure what weight I use, but I do 30 on the bicep with quite heavy weight, and 30 on the tricep also with quite heavy. Or at least quite heavy for me.

Yeah, so there has been both ups and downs for the past weeks but that’s okay, it happens sometimes. I seem to forget that even though I have a goal I want to reach, I’m not doing this to reach that goal and then quit. This is a change of life, and I will keep going even when I’ve reached my goals. And I do this for me, it’s important to do it for you. Because if you don’t you won’t have that same motivation. It will feel totally different. And if you really want it, it should be fun, feel good, be something that you really want to do. Working out and getting fit isn’t something you have to do, no one is holding a gun to your head and forcing you to do it. Do it because you want to because whatever reason you do it, it’s for yourself.

Love you all, Ellie

sunday 21/8

Hey hey hey babes!

I have been soooo busy this week with school starting and everything, so I haven’t really had time to blog anything. But I’m here now!

Soo this week has been exhausting, even though I only had school for two days. But to be honest, I’m kinda looking forward to more school. I really want to make this year better so I’m really gonna try.

I was at the gym today with my friend, it was a real hard workout and it felt really good.

I’ve also bought a lot of things for school, and maybe I’ll try to make a stationary haul for you guys.

Also I pierced my nose this friday. Just like that. Totally spontaneous. I really really like it.

Anyways, I don’t have anything more to talk about today, I’m very sorry for this boring update, but I just thought I’d let you know that I’m not dead, I’m still here.

I’ll be back tomorrow with another workout progress too.

Love, Ellie

workout – progress week 3

Hiiii beauties!

Time for this weeks workout update, yaay, how exciting. (i’m in such a good mood today, go figure)

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Don’t even ask me why the photos have such a bad quality, I just don’t know what’s happening with my life atm.

But yes, this is me right now, no difference form last week, but I’ve made some progress in the training. The only day that was a downer was saturday, since I woke up at 12 and the gym closes at 1 so I had to skip gym that day. I’ve started running for the whole fifteen minutes instead of walking some of it, and the reversed situps are going great with 30×5. I’ve also started doing regular situps, 20×3. I’ve started doing 40 core/torso/we rotations on each side and then if I’m feeling it doing 20 or 30 more on each side.
I do 120kg on the leg press and 70kg in squats. I don’t really know how much I use when doing my biceps and triceps since it’s on a machine, but I do about 30×2 on both of them.

So, the upside of this week is that workout has been going great! but the downside is that my diet hasn’t. I’m not proud of it but I have been eating candy and drinking soda and I’m soo so bad.

I can’t really seem to remember that I’m doing this for myself and only myself, and that it is okay to have a snack sometimes and it’s okay to have a cheat day once in a while, but it’s so hard not to feel bad about it. This is a lifestyle, a journey,  a road, not a destination that has to be reached. It’s great to have goals and try to achieve them, but it’s totally fine to let it take time. It’s supposed to take time, because what I am trying to reach isn’t a temporary change, it’s a permanent. I want to change my life and the person I have been, and it’s got to take some time. Just because I have a chocolate bar and a can of soda doesn’t mean that I have to start over at zero because that’s not at all how it works. It’s important to know that, and remember it.

That was todays motivation and progress. Hope it gave you some thinking.

Love, Ellie

morning – breakfast

Hi my beauties!

I’m back today with another post for you guys. Since I’ve had this pretty health topic going on here, what better way is there than to tell you guys what I like to have for breakfast to keep my diet balanced.

I’m gonna be honest with you, I’m not the best with eating. It can go as far that I forget to eat or just doesn’t think about it. But, the key to a healthy diet and a better life is breakfast. It’s almost like it doesn’t matter what you have, just that you get some energy in your body. My breakfast is incredibly varied and what I eat depends on the day and so and so. But today I had a really great breakfast that’s sooo good for you, so I just had to tips it with you.

(sorry for bad quality pictures)

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So, this is what my breakfast looked like today, and hello to the nail file in the corner.

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I do love me some eggs in the morning, and it is so so so soo good for you too. Egg contains a lot of protein that is very important for a healthy breakfast. So, this is my own special, very great scrambled eggs. Just kidding. I whisk some eggs together with a bit of milk and season it with pepper and salt. Yeah, nothing special at all just scrambled eggs. But so delicious.

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Another thing that I had for breakfast was a kind of home made healthy ice cream, made out of frozen papaya and pineapple, a banana and some milk. You could totally add more milk and make it a smoothie if you’d rather have that, or even add some protein powder for another taste. But this is so good and healthy, and it fills you very much.

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I top it off with some good vanilla tea with a bit of milk. Or more some milk with a bit of tea. I did go a little overboard with the milk this morning, hehe.

This is only a tip for what to have for breakfast. I don’t know if this is a kind of post you guys want to read or if you like it or anything, but give me some heads up for future references, alright.

Love, Ellie

workout – progress week 2

Hello beauties!

I was supposed to upload this on monday, but I have been busy with like stuff and everything, so it’s going up today instead.

I have made quite some progress this last week, but I unfortunately had some downs last week. I had to skip training for a few days since I was having a sore throat and a bit of a runny nose. But it didn’t stop me and I have been working harder the last couple of days. I’m quite proud over the fact that I have stopped myself from eating candy and unhealthy food this past week. I’m really trying to remind myself that this is for myself, why give in to cravings when I don’t want to. I know it’s not really that simple, but yes it is.

My workout routine hasn’t really changed, only progressed a bit. I start with running for about fifteen/twenty minutes depending on my legs and feet. I’ve stretched my limit from 25×4 to 30×5 on the reversed situps. Some days I have extra power and do some more. I do the same with the core/torso/whatever rotations and use the same amount of weight. I’ve gone a little harder with the squats though, and use about 70kilos and do 40 or 50. It’s not that heavy for my leg muscles, but I can’t use much heavier right now because of knee problems, but I’m working on it.

As I’ve said before, this works for me and fits my body type and personal goals, but it doesn’t mean that it will work the same for you or your type of body. And remember the difference between goals, limit and energy. Don’t limit yourself, but have goals and try to reach them.

Love, Ellie

Friday 5/8

Hi everybody!

I had been planning some fun and creative posts this week but I have been sooo busy and my bff was off work today for the first time in like forever so I had to spend some time with her.

This has been quite a boring-to-read-about-day. My bff, her bf and I went to the movies together last night, then my bff spent the night at my place, and then today we fixed my mirror like the first thing when we woke up, because It was quite big and I was tired of it taking so much space in my room so we gave it to my cousins. It took soo long washing it, peeling off stickers and trying to fit everything I had inside of it in other parts of my room.

When we were done we like just got dressed and went into town to meet with her bf. We bought some chips and drinks and went to the sea and just hung out there the whole afternoon. At around 6 we went to a coffee shop to have some coffee. I had a white mocha latte with cream on the top. It was soooo good.

After that we went back to my place so that my bff could get some of her stuff before she took the bus home. I have literally done nothing since then. Just been sitting around watching youtube and painting my nails.

So I had a fun day but not as fun to read about, unfortunately.

I start school the 18th, which is quite soon. It’s gonna be quite nice, not gonna lie. It’s gonna be nice to get the old routines back and you know, just something to do with my life. I’ve said before that me and school doesn’t really go well together, but I know that I have to atleast try. I want to work hard because I do love school, but mental illness doesn’t. I have been working on my mental health a lot recently so I’m quite excited to see how far I’ve come when I get back to school. But of course I’m sad that the summer break will be over. Because even though it’s hard to have no routines, it always feel great to relax myself and have a little break from everything, just like work on myself without other things pressuring me.

I’m also trying to make updating schedules and stuff, which will be great for my blog. So make sure you stay updated.

Love, Ellie