I have not been in a good place lately (telling from my post mental illnesses) and I’m just so sick of it.
I want to be good, I want to feel good, about everything. And it’s been so hard for me to keep up the spirit and the energy lately, and I’ve been spending a LOT of time at home in my room, no good eating habits, slim to none sleep. It’s been tearing on me.
But right now I want to start over. Get my shit together you know. And I want to make this journey with you guys, I want you to be on my side through this. I don’t only want your help and a place to document my success, but also maybe inspire other people out there to change for the better too.
This won’t be easy because habits die hard, but I really want to change. Not only getting my life together but my health too. I don’t want to get too into it but I’m on some medication and the pills I take has made me gain some weight, and that combined with me getting a sugar addiction and bad eating habits has really struck me hard. I notice it so much, both the weight gain but also my self confidence that’s nonexistent atm. And I think that has been the most stressful thing for me lately. I have never had good confidence and I don’t think I’ve ever felt good about myself before, but right now it has just been getting so much worse.
This is not a rant, and this post is not supposed to be, but I really want all of this to be documented and I want to have something holding me to it, I want something that will make me remember how bad it was so that I can compare it when it all gets better. If that makes sense. And I think that if I document my journey on here that I will have no choice but to have to deal with it and have to make some changes. Because that’s what I wanna do, change. I don’t want to live like this. This is not the life I wanna have. And I know that life just isn’t about being thin and being a model and having a good body but I do want to lose weight.
I have set my goals and I know how I’m gonna try to reach them.
I’m graduating from school next year and that’s where I have my first goal. I want to look good on my graduation day. I want to be able to reach the goals that I have and I want to be able to say “I did it”.
Set up your own goals and lets do this together. It will get better, I just know it.